 |
|
|
| |
Docklands 3 - Captain Go as Marcus Welby, MD
|
3717 Reads
|
|
|
|
| |
In the vast, albeit dusty oeuvre of sea literature, it is common in the memoirs of master mariners to come across repeated medical references and anecdotes. Some captains even profess a fondness for the ‘hobby’ of medicine – a stimulating diversion to the usual ennui of horizon-to-horizon emptiness that is, and perennially has been, the fundamental essence of seafaring.
Patrick O’Brian has alliterated this dichotomy brilliantly but with two individual characters, Aubrey & Maturin. For most master mariners outside the Royal Navy, the role of doctor and medical provider has always, since time immemorial, fallen to them alone. Afterall, it’s just a part of the life and duty of command. However, every once in awhile a master just takes to medicine with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.
“Mister Agent! My seaman has very bad hemorrhoids! 10-centimeter extrusions from his anus! From his ANUS, Mister Agent! Very bloody, very bloody,” as Captain Go holds up his right hand rounded forefinger and thumb, then having the audacity to peer through it.
|
|
Yet he pretends it’s as disgusting to him as it is to me. “Surgery! We must schedule surgery for my sea-man!”
Clearly, Captain Go has found his ‘hobby’ and he is relishing it.
Back-handing the copious beads off sweat off my forehead while clenching my jaw, I’m just able to mutter, “Captain. There is a problem.” Clearing my throat, I continue, “ As you well know this man has no visa. Post 9-11, INS has issued NO visa waivers? Simply stated,” with arms raised in requisite emphasis, “it must be a matter of life and death.” I’m fighting hard not to gag outright, what with the heavy scent of stale cigarettes and old kimchee, the insane heat of his cabin, and his perversely graphic diagnosis.
Captain Go’s narrow countenance opens up in shock and dismay but then recedes contemplatively as he leans back into his chair, deftly lighting yet another cigarette.
“Mister Agent, you must help this man. WE must help this man, OK? Very bloody, very bloody . . PLEASE! We must help my sea-man?”
This is a pretty savvy appeal on the Captain’s part - 2 parts Marcus Welby to one-part Ghenghis Khan.
“Ok, Captain. Post 9-11, I haven’t yet had a visa waiver approved, but there’s always the first time, right?”
Captain Go bolts forward in his chair and gives the air a quick karate chop, ”All right, Mr. Agent!”
“I’ll fill out all the paperwork, but the most important part will be your letter of diagnosis.” Captain Go blinks hard a couple times, his former scowl returning.
“You write letter, my English not so good.”
“Captain! That’s the point! Your Kor-english will serve perfectly. Remember, this must be a letter written as if you are the man’s doctor.” Captain Go begins to nod affirmatively in contemplating such. He takes up a pen and scurries his desk for a blank piece of paper.
“OK, I write letter now. Mr. Agent, please do your best with Immigrations?”
“I always do, Captain.”
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| Posted by: Hector_Ochoa on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 07:28 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
