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Spreading Holiday Cheer - Road Rage Cards
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9226 Reads
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 Don't lie. At least once, you've screamed something like this at the top of your lungs on the 405.
Dream accessories for vein-poppingly pissed L.A. commuters usually include: loudspeaker (illegal), hood-mounted Gatling guns (very illegal), and instant-message board for times when flipping the bird just isn't enough (still legal!)
Road Rage Cards are likely to make someone very rich, and more than a few people slightly dead ...
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It's the "perfect gift idea" for the sort of boor you see swerving through hectic holiday traffic this week, shoulders hunched around his ears, a cellphone clapped to his head, teeth in a snarl.
Why, with the Road Rage Cards flip book in hand (only $19.95!) he could vent all that harmful stress. He could take his eyes off the road, find the perfect profane insult and wave it out the window to express his inability to cope.
Winning zingers include:
GET OUT OF THE FAST LANE! and the somewhat more-pointed GET OUT OF THE FAST LANE, MORON!
You can also add insult to insult and upgrade LEARN TO DRIVE! by flipping the page to LEARN TO DRIVE, IMBECILE!
Or you can pretty much guarantee rubbing bumpers and swapping paint and death threats all the way to your gunfight on the offramp with:
THANKS FOR CUTTING ME OFF, ASSH*LE!
or
I HOPE YOU CRASH AND DIE!
or
YOU'RE A F*CKING IDIOT!
and perhaps this little gem.
Helpful index tabs make sure you don't say TWO WORDS: CAR WASH or YOUR MUSIC SUCKS when what you really meant was GET OFF MY ASS, M*THERFUCKER!
You can even show the back-side of each card through your windshield so your target can read it in his rear-view mirror.
I do confess, it might be nice to have this one for certain occasions.
But then, when the inevitable wrongful-death judgments are awarded against Road Rage Cards Inc., I won't be too keen in having my estate listed among the plaintiffs. Probate court is boring.
(spotted at Autoblog)
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| Posted by: mack_reed on Tuesday, December 07, 2004 - 06:20 PM
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