Paris Hilton declares, "I'm the closest thing to American royalty". It's only fitting that our Royal Highness would make this bold announcement in the pages of Stuff magazine, a second rate "lad mag" that features glossy photos of Hooters waitresses, articles about beer, and rocker Tommy Lee modeling back to school fashions ...
Her Royal Highness goes on to announce that she is a "brand" and will "build an empire". An empire of what, I wonder? Mass produced, cheaply manufactured Princess Paris brand clothing and trinkets shipped over from China and sold in Wal-Marts across the country? Or perhaps she'll build her empire copying Jessica Simpson's approach, and we'll be graced with goopy glittery lotions and bath products that stink of cloying sweetness and feel sticky on the skin. Maybe she'll sell her "brand" to a hamburger chain and everyone can enjoy a Paris Hilton Value Meal? The possibilities are endless.
